TMI – The boob update

Here are the stats:

I have gained 30lbs so far.
My chest size has gone from 36 to 38, not bad.
My cup size has gone from well let us just say that they have increased 4 cup sizes, (now this would not be so bad if I started at an A, B, or even C, but that was simply not the case…. ). No Joke. I could wear my bras as a toque, and they would fit quite comfortably.

Now the word out on the street is that they will increase 1 more cup size once the milk comes in. How high do cup sizes go again?????

If I have milk production issues I will be majorly pissed, I mean there is all this storage room created in there, don’t want it to go to waste!

On a more positive note, my expanding belly makes the boobs look smaller and the ever-expanding boobs make my belly look smaller.

It will be interesting when I lose the belly but am breastfeeding! Maybe I can make some extra bucks headlining as a stripper, at least my start-up costs would be low as I wouldn’t need the boob job.

Oh the possibilities!

Darch

TMI - All about the mammaries....

So what is worst than bathing suit shopping, pregnant bathing suit shopping. I had to run out at lunch today to grab a maternity bathing suit. Basically it was an exercise in humility, or should I say being humiliated.

There was this assumption on my part that once I got pregnant it would be easier to find clothing. Not sure where it came from but it was there. Boy was I smoking crack!

Back to the dressing room, not only is there little to choose from, nothing could properly contain my bordering on obscene mammaries. Bones likes to remind me that women pay good money to be this well-endowed, I think they are called strippers and porn-stars and honestly don’t feel like being compared. But again I digress. Nothing could hold the suckers up, so I had to get a size larger, in a not-so-cute looking suit.

Now you must be asking what the urgency of requiring a suit so badly that I would only dedicate a lunch hour to the pursuit, well this is when the story takes a bit of an up turn…..

I AM COACHING SPECIAL OLYMPICS SWIMMING!!!!!!! ....tonight....

Yes I am excited. So excited that I can look past my humiliation of a saggy suit with breasts-a-bursting, (I think I will wear a t-shirt, it really is getting obscene).

Darch

TMI - a Too Much Information post

Any time you see, ‘TMI- ‘, that will signify a post where I might talk a little openly about something you may not really want to know, like how freaking itchy my damn boobs are these days! Although I will not write about anything that I would feel uncomfortable about any of my friends and family knowing, I have a habit of sometimes be more open than you may care for.

For example, when I was talking about expanding the family way back when with my FIL, I told him it could take awhile due to my long and unruly cycles. Bones was horrified, ‘can’t believe you said that to my dad, I don’t talk to him about that kind of stuff”. What went through my mind, ‘no shit Sherlock you don’t HAVE cycles’, what came out of my mouth, ‘he is married with 2 daughters, he probably has already heard about these types of things and if he hasn’t, it is about time’. I don’t know that or anything else that I have discussed with my FIL made him feel uncomfortable, he is far too polite and gracious to let me know, (by the way I won the in-law lottery, and I am not just saying that because they may be reading this, it is just true).

Now back to my boobs, hey I did warn you, they are huge, I would say obscene, hot and itchy. Right now I am at my desk at work and want to just scratch away. Somewhere there is this little voice in the back of my head telling me that it would be unprofessional, so far I have been listening, but no one has ever told me outright it is so….

Darch