4 Months – Life with Ellen

Simply wonderful.

She is a dream. Bones and I can’t believe how lucky we are with her. We are both so in love. Some people say that having a child can drift the parents apart, for us it has brought us closer. Bones & I are quite stubborn people so working together is somewhat of a challenge, with Ellen we are on the same page even when we disagree.

Breastfeeding has just not worked out for us. When she was born my breasts were too big for her mouth, so I pumped and tried to use a shield. That worked, my milk production went up then it came crashing down. So I tried some milk producing teas, and pumped like mad, got my milk production back up, got her off the shield and felt like the natural mama I wanted to be. I had a few weeks of breastfeeding bliss when my production once again went down. On to the pills, my production came back but Ellen was frustrated with the boob by this point so I pumped, once again I dried up. At this point I decided I couldn’t take it anymore. It was rejection like I had never felt before having her scream at the boob and each time I dried up I felt it was a personal failure.

My lowest point as a mom sounded something like this, ‘ I couldn’t get pregnant on my own, then my body wasn’t a good home for her anymore so I had to be induced, now I can’t even feed her’, said with the crying of a mom who is exhausted and feeling very guilty.

Thankfully I was able to move on, she is such a terrific baby and some of that has to do with my parenting.....right?!?

This little girl hates her car seat, hates her stroller so we carry her. This has brought on a carrier obsession. I have a stretchy wrap, great for when she was a newborn as it pulled her in so close, a pouch sling for the pool, a ring sling for when I am running errands and I loved Bones’ Mei Tai carrier so much that I ordered one for myself. My shoe obsession has been successfully transferred! Ellen loves being worn around.

In 4 months she has grown 5.5 inches and gained 7lbs 4oz, 2 teeth are coming in, she has been on a plane, gone on a long road trip, been to a wine tasting, (unfortunately there was not milk tastings going on for her), and fed a giraffe. She has taken all of this in stride.

Ellen has a few nicknames, Gussy Fussbucket for those days she decides that laid back is not the way to go, the 24 inch dictator, Droolly Malone, Stinky McFartsalot, Buttercup and Sweet Pea. At this rate it will be at the kindergarten role call when she will finally figure out her real name.

She loves to give kisses, which take the form of opening her drooly, teething mouth and rubbing it on your face. They are precious and you feel so special when you get her slobbery present, but it is best if you have a face cloth on hand. I now understand the need for 50 face cloths!

Ellen plays her own version of hide and go seek, she places her head in your chest then looks out into the world and gives out a cry of joy and places her head back into your chest. I love this game.

She prefers showers over baths, loves to sleep with mommy & daddy, hates to be alone, loves her playgroup, loves to look at pictures on the computer, loves her mobile and loves the dogs. She will even give them treats if they sit for her, such a generous girl.

Ellen is a true dream, we are so lucky to have this little girl.

Darch

Here we go again!

So it would appear that when I begin to breath a little easier all of the sudden I am thrown for a loop.

I am in the hospital. Went to my 36 week prenatal appointment yesterday and my blood pressure was 132/98, I was sent straight to the hospital. Getting into the car and driving there I was a bit of a robot thinking they are just going to do some tests and I would be on my way. I mean I had a Stampede Lunch to go to, (will eventually write a post on Stampede in Calgary, it is truly an experience!). As soon as I got to the triage desk, I started crying. As much as I wanted to meet the wee one, I want her to stay in to term.

Once I got a room in triage they had me hooked up to a fetal monitor. Thankfully this little girl is so active that I haven’t been too worried about her health. I also got hooked up to a blood pressure monitor that automatically checked my bp every 15 minutes. It when down for a bit but started rising again. The doctor looking after me wanted to induce.

After consulting the senior OB/GYN the decision was to do a 24 hour urine, (to check for protein in the urine), and to monitor my bp every 4 hours. My bp is still high. Today at 4pm the 24 hour urine ends and shortly after that I will find out what will happen.

So far these are the plans:

- If the urine comes back with too much protein, induce.

- If my bp is still high but urine ok, induce on Tuesday, (I will be 37 weeks and the baby will be considered term at that point).

- If my bp stabilizes, I will be at home on modified bed rest with a nurse coming by daily to check my bp and monitor the wee one. This is most likely what will occur.

All I know for sure at this point is there is no more work for me, which is distressing in itself as there are a few loose ends I would have preferred to tie up before leaving, and I am filled with mixed emotions. As much as I don’t want to have my baby now, I am so excited to meet her. Bones and I had some giggley bonding time as we contemplated being induced. I was excited and ready to go by the time the plug was pulled on that plan.

I did manage to head out for a walk today. The hospital is along a reservoir, check out the pic, so there is a nice path and I got to pet some pooches who were out for walks. Wish I thought of having my dogs meet me out there for a visit when Bones dropped by this morning.

Update: Had to stay a 2nd night, Bones brought the dogs, (that is me doing my best Jabba the Hutt impression, look at happy Cody), for a visit. I will be heading home with a nurse coming by everyday to make sure everything is still hunky dory.

Darch

Some days everything is just great!

Everything seems to have settled down in the House of Darch & Bones, here is a quick bullet form update:

- Cody is better, his cortisol levels are normal, at the moment, so now he gets ‘poisoned’ twice a week to keep his levels under control. He is back to his normal annoying self, he is a terrier and it is just part of living with a terrier, love him dearly for all that personality but man there are times he can annoy me to no end.

- I can actually DO stuff without pain and not feeling like my heart is going to beat out of my chest! This is not only good for my sanity but that of Bones as well. I am not so snippy, (I wasn’t frustrating with him, frustrated that I needed so much help to do really basic things like get up off the couch, yes I got stuck twice and don’t want to discuss it any further but feel free to tease), anymore.

- I have somehow achieved the miracle of only having the quilting paraphernalia in 3 areas of the house, hoping to have it down to 2 by the end of the weekend but I am not sure if I have enough karma points to pull that off!

- We have the change table area all set up with diapers washed and ready to go, a garden & bug inspired mobile above the change table, all conveniently located beside the toilet.

- All of Ellen’s clothes, bedding and bathing stuff has been washed and put away in her dresser, I have finished 2 quilts for her, have another 2 on the go, and another 3 in the planning stages, she is going to be one warm & padded baby.

- And just to clarify, Bones is not taking figure-skating lessons, I was hoping if I tell outlandish lies about him he would update you all on how he is doing as opposed to me letting you know. In reality Bones DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SKATE!!!! I still don’t know how any Canadian grows up not knowing how to skate, what is even more surprising is that he grew up in Ottawa. Ottawa, home of the longest outdoor skating rink in the world, where every year during Winterlude, (a winter festival on the Rideau Canal, for those who don’t know), there were school trips to go skating along the canal. Sometimes the truth is more outlandish than the lies.

- Bones is doing well, he is really excited. Won’t be running too much this year, injured his Achilles and it has taken a while to recover. His 2 hiking buddies are going through divorces so he figures if he has to listen to them discuss the divorces all the time he is not going to feel too guilty about all the baby talk.

- Bones & I will be missing our friends at the 13th Annual Canada Party, this year with the added bonus of moose meat. It was 7 years ago at that very Canada Party that Bones & I threw caution to the wind and decided to have a wee fling, (we have known each other since I was 16 and he was 20, we worked at the Elgin theatre and were friends with many of the people who worked there but we didn’t really notice each other until I was 27, he crashed my 27th birthday party with his girlfriend at the time. I thought he was truly amazing but I am no man stealing ho and he lived in Edmonton, but the following year, at the Canada Day Party, he was single….). He was living in Edmonton at the time and I was about to end a relationship with someone, so it wasn’t like we thought it would be anything more than a wee fling. We were smitten. A month later we met up in Calgary, had some job interviews, looked for apartments, a month after that we were living in Calgary. A year later married. Needless to say, that Canada Day Party holds a special spot in our hearts, that and we miss our friends too.

Today has been a really great day.

Darch

35 weeks down….5 to go

Wow, I am in complete awe and wonderment. My body has been fully taken over, and at the moment I love the sense of surrender to it.

Had a doctor’s appointment yesterday to check up on my blood pressure issues and it is down, still slightly elevated but it isn’t a cause for concern anymore. Plus my blood work came back good too. My iron count is a little low but higher than before. And I am not in pain anymore, in a fair bit of discomfort but not pain and I am alright with the discomfort.

I am so relieved. It isn’t that I was too worried about her survival, sure thoughts of a child with respiratory problems in a small house, in dusty Calgary with 3 shedding dogs gave me fears but that could happen if she is a preemie or not really. It is more that I want her to be as healthy as she can be and I want to have her naturally if I can.

So many people think I am nuts, it would seem like everyone in my prenatal class is all about the drugs, but I want to experience it all, fully. This may sound a bit airy fairy but it is not only about her birth but my transformation into mommyhood. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe you have to have a natural birth to transform or be fully complete as a mom or anything. It is how I am viewing my personal desired experience. In the end I am not going to beat myself up if I can’t go through it without the drugs or if for some reason an intervention is required. Oddly though, most of my friends, those who have gone through home births and hospital births have done so drug free. I am at least as tough as them right?

Darch

This 'n' That

Here is a quick rundown on the happenings within the house of Darch & Bones:

- Cody is not does not have blood in his urine anymore! Start his meds for Cushing’s this upcoming Saturday.

- I had contractions yesterday, fine today, on bed rest and working from home. Thankfully the little one has been extremely active, the reassurance has helped to keep me calm.

- Saturday I got most of my gardening done, have to take some photos but for now I am stuck in bed.

- Putting our house hunting in Nanaimo on hold until the fall, too much on our plate right now.

- Can’t get enough Oreo ice cream or asparagus & cheese ravioli. Good thing there are prenatal vitamins!

- Bones is absolutely loving his figure skating classes, not only can he now skate backwards and use the pick to stop, he can do some lovely turns. He is hoping that Blades of Glory will bring legitimacy to male figure skating.

I have to get out of bed to have lunch now, asparagus ravioli sounds about right!
Darch

It is confirmed….Cushing’s

Well it has been confirmed, my wee poop, Cody, has Cushing’s.

The poor guy here’s a list of his symptoms:

Hair loss, mostly around his ass
Dry coat
Dry skin, (so dry that his poor nose has cracked….it looks so painful!)
Hard calloused skin, on his tail and legs
Laboured breathing, snorts a ton
Drinks a lot of water
Urinates a lot
Ravenous appetite, eats his own poop which is a new behaviour, he is so hungry
Fat redistribution, wasting on legs and big in the belly

Basically he is a mess.

Next Saturday we will be going back to the vet to find out all about monitoring and treating Cushing’s. The meds he will be taking will attack his adrenal gland, we will have to monitor him for possible toxicity issues during this phase as he will be on a high induction dose. Once his symptoms calm down and his cortisol levels are normal he will be on a maintenance dose and every 3 months we will have to take him in for testing to make sure his cortisol levels are not rising again.

The difficult part will be separating him from his bitches so we can monitor him properly during the induction phase. He has separation issues and being around the girls keeps him calm and occupied.

Oh well, you do what you gotta do. Poor little bugger.

And now he is peeing blood, worrying....

Darch

How my heart breaks when a poopie is sick

Bones rounded up the poopies and brought them to the vet last Friday. Sam had 2 lumps tested, and Cody, well Cody has had a slew of issues lately.

Cody has been losing hair around his butt, his regular breathing has sounded like an old man snoring, he has been drinking tons of water, having accidents in the house and lastly has gained weight. We thought it was diabetes, the vet felt like it was hypothyroidism, the tests came back as Cushing’s. Now I feel really guilty every time I got irritated when Cody had an accident. He also has a urinary tract infection, which he will be more susceptible to because of the Cushing’s.

Cushing’s is an increase in cortisol levels within the bloodstream. Normally the hypothalamus directs the pituitary glad to produce ACTH, (a hormone), that will stimulate the adrenal gland to secrete cortisol into the bloodstream. Once the cortisol levels are high enough, the pituitary stops secreting ACTH. With Cushing’s this delicate balance of hormone stimulation doesn’t work properly.

For our little guy the cause would either be a tumour in the pituitary gland, causing more ACTH being produced than necessary or a tumour in an adrenal gland, causing the adrenal gland to over produce cortisol. It is relatively common and often mistaken as the normal aging process due to how the symptoms of Cushing’s manifest itself.

Now little Cody will have to go the vet to get further tests done. He will have to stay there for the day. The poor guy, we can’t even explain to him what is going on, plus he won’t have the girls. Cody is a nervous dog with separation issues, having the girls around keeps his anxieties at bay.

Hopefully we have caught it soon enough that he will just need hormone therapy, otherwise they use radiation to try and kill a part of the adrenal gland. Either way we will try hormone therapy first to see if that makes a difference before doing anything like radiation. I am not so keen on the radiation idea, I will have to research it and talk to the vet a lot before feeling fully comfortable with deciding for or against it. Then again it isn’t really my decision, Cody is Bones’ dog.

Jack & Sam are happy & healthy, Sam's lumps are just fat deposits and despite Cody’s condition, he is a pretty happy dog.

Darch

My furry babies

Thought it was about time to introduce everyone to my lovely poopies. That is not a typo, they are poopies, because they love to poop. I have even made up a little song about how they love to poop. One silly thing I love to do is change the lyrics to songs and sing little Odes to them. Such as Jack is Every Inch a Sailor has been changed to Jack is Every Inch a Puppy.

Jack Trouble was the first of the Darch Dogs. She is border collie/golden mix, with a heart of gold who will protect her family in a heartbeat and still be able to roll around on her back and let puppies crawl all over her. I often joke that I can only aspire to be as emotionally well-adjusted as she is. She is a therapy dog who used to visit the psychiatric and palliative care wards. Jack is the best one to get down on all fours with and wrestle. She is happiest when the pack is all together and she is cuddling up to one of her humans. Jack is the one I go to when I need comfort from a furry friend.

Samson Grunt came next and she turned my household upside down. Jack was house trained so quickly and Sam through a huge wrench into that. Sam is the runt, a 90lb runt but a runt none the less, and had many issues, one being house training. And if Sam could do it, Jack figured she might as well too. It was a tough go at the beginning but you can’t help but love Sam. She is a Dane/Chesapeake Bay Retriever mix, a true athletic retriever in the dog park and cuddly dane in the house. She is a real princess, can’t lie on the floor, must have something soft to lie on. She is the most self-centered of the Darch Dogs, she has to get the ball, must have the toy anyone else wants etc. Regardless we love her, I mean she is the best cuddler out of the bunch.

Cody was the last to arrive in our household, the only one that came after Bones and I were together. He was only to stay at our place a few months but his original owner moved, didn’t forward their phone number and never got in touch with us. He wasn’t very well trained but had such a great personality he won me over quickly, with Bones it took awhile. Cody the little Boston Terrier, (he is not a mutt, we have his papers, he is just a genetic throw-back), thought he would run the show in our house, he would hop up on our couch and try to mount the girls, (Jack & Sam), they put him in his place pretty quick. Cody is definitely Bones’ dog. I don’t exist unless Bones isn’t around. Bones adores him too. We have managed to get him trained enough to live with us, (it is hard with 3 dogs as they feed off each other, so we like them to have manners in the house and on the leash, in the dog park, they are dogs), and the girls seem to be ok with his shenanigans. Cody’s big personality has won him many nicknames, Cheech, Batboy, (his long hair from his ears makes a bit of a bat look when they are up, Cody-Sore-Ass, (one time on a camping trip he had an impacted anal gland, it looked so sore....) and Grandpa, (he snores like an old man).

The dogs all get along great. Sometimes I refer to them as Cody and his Bitches. Thankfully they are great with kids but of course aren’t allowed alone with young children. We have started reducing their access to the house and the attention they receive so they don’t associate any changes to the arrival of a child. It is hard because it is their house too but with 3 shedding dogs in dusty Calgary you have to take some measures so that you just have to worry about eating, sleeping and feeding the baby for the first few months. Or at least that is my theory.

There you go, that’s the furry portion of the Darch/Bones family.

Darch