So I got some unsolicited advice today as I ordered my medium sugar-free, soy latte. “You should stay away from caffeine for the baby”, the stranger told me. I smiled and replied, “Thank-you for your concern for my baby.” For those who don’t know me this is quite a tame response, I am not a good advice taker, especially from strangers.
I am one of those people from the School of Hard Knocks. We don’t learn from other’s people’s mistakes, we have to jump off that cliff before we truly believe it will be a bad idea. It isn’t a pleasant trait of mine that is for sure, it made parenting me quite difficult. Sorry mom & dad. No matter how hard I try, and I really do try, I need to work it out for myself. Now with age I like to think I have mellowed somewhat, if those who are close to me, (family, good friends), give me some unsolicited advice I listen, may not take it but I listen and appreciate that it is given because they care. As for strangers or acquaintances well that is a different story.
Every pregnancy and parenting book I have read touches on the unsolicited advice issue, and most of my friends have ranted to me about it at one point. The thing is, when I look at my friends, who have differing parenting styles, their kids are all amazing so who is right? Why does there even have to be a right? The books suggest to be polite and smile, and I couldn’t agree more, but and here is my problem, the big but, BUT at about the 50 billionth time I get some unsolicited advice I am sure the polite option would be a distant memory.
When I relayed this bit of advice-getting to my good friend and co-worker she thought I should have said, “oh I am just so tired from being up all night drinking….”, then I had to add, “….and eating unpasturized cheeses with raw tuna sushi.” But at the moment it seemed easier to just be polite and not bring out the sarcasm, that and I didn’t think of it at the time.
So my blog readers I am looking for some advice here….suggest some strategies to help me chose the polite option when all I want to do is cover my ears yelling, “I CAN’T HEAR YOU”, while stomping my feet up and down.
Hey I just realized that the advice-giver thought I looked pregnant! Awesome, now I am not feeling so prickly, a stranger saw I was pregnant and not just fat.
Darch
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Me and the Wee Pea!
Our Story
The journey to have this child is a long one. Five years, 3 months, 5 miscarriages, 3 D&Cs, 5 medicated cycles, which includes one hormone suppression/injectible cycle, 3 in-uterine inseminations and 4 months of weekly acupuncture. Now she is here! Welcome to the next stage of this adventure.
Ma Baby
Me and the Wee Pea!
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Check out my progress in trying to complete 28 quilts by June 11th, those finished, and those not so finished.
1 comment:
I HATE the unsolicited assvice, and it doesn't stop at pregnancy. Be prepared to hear craploads of unwanted assvice once you have your baby as well. I am definitely of the smile and nod variety and can never think of witty comebacks til much much later. But if I could think of anything witty on the spot, I really wouldn't hesitate to use it. Most of these people you are never gonna see again, so just sock it to them baby! You know what's good for your body and your baby and it's not about being right, it's about doing what's right for you.
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