Thursday, May 31, 2007

It is confirmed….Cushing’s

Well it has been confirmed, my wee poop, Cody, has Cushing’s.

The poor guy here’s a list of his symptoms:

Hair loss, mostly around his ass
Dry coat
Dry skin, (so dry that his poor nose has cracked….it looks so painful!)
Hard calloused skin, on his tail and legs
Laboured breathing, snorts a ton
Drinks a lot of water
Urinates a lot
Ravenous appetite, eats his own poop which is a new behaviour, he is so hungry
Fat redistribution, wasting on legs and big in the belly

Basically he is a mess.

Next Saturday we will be going back to the vet to find out all about monitoring and treating Cushing’s. The meds he will be taking will attack his adrenal gland, we will have to monitor him for possible toxicity issues during this phase as he will be on a high induction dose. Once his symptoms calm down and his cortisol levels are normal he will be on a maintenance dose and every 3 months we will have to take him in for testing to make sure his cortisol levels are not rising again.

The difficult part will be separating him from his bitches so we can monitor him properly during the induction phase. He has separation issues and being around the girls keeps him calm and occupied.

Oh well, you do what you gotta do. Poor little bugger.

And now he is peeing blood, worrying....


Tuesday, May 29, 2007

My romantic evening....

Tonight was our first prenatal class and I fell a little bit more in love in Bones.

One of the exercises the instructor got the partners to do was to make a list about their biggest concerns during labour and delivery. So I asked him Bones what his concern was. Bones doesn’t want say something completely insensitive and that will be the one thing I hear, (it isn’t that he is an ass or anything, his sarcasm can sometimes lean in the inappropriate direction). He was serious, it is a real concern. My heart melted.

So I capped off the evening with a 30 second fart in the car and while attempting to ask Bones if he heard it between squeals of uncontrollable laughter I started to pee my pants. Bones kept yelling, ‘stop!’, which only made me laugh harder. I really did try to hold it in but the laughter, shock and shear ridiculousness of the situation seemed to make it impossible....

Bones, my knight in shining armour, ran to the house to get me a jacket to wrap around me so I could get into the house with minimal embarrassment. While running to the house I was still laughing so hard that I started snorting, I don’t normally snort when I laugh. Bones starts yelling, ‘dead puppies’. Again it only made me laugh harder, thankfully there was nothing left in my bladder....

Looks like regular Kegels workout will part of my future!

...and they say romance is dead. Love you babe,


Thursday, May 24, 2007

Changes.....part 1

There are just things you go through in life that change you, makes you re-evaluate your priorities, goals, the type of person you wish to be and who you want to surround yourself with. I am knee deep in the middle of one of these changes.

One of the hardest things I have gone through these past 7 years living in Calgary is being away from family and friends. So much has happened that I have missed. I haven’t been there for the celebrations, cries on the shoulder or just the day-to-day.

In this time a great friend of mine came out. Another close friend found the woman of his dreams and Bones & I barely know her, (and I am sure she is as great as she seems during the short visits back to Ottawa), plus she just had a baby and how cool it would be if we were on maternity leave together. A close friend has been dealing with her mother having cancer. One friend gave his brother, who is also a friend, a kidney. One of our friend’s little girls are big girls now. Friends went through a separation, not sure if they are divorced but you see we are way out of the loop. These are friends that I have known for a while, some for over half my life, I miss them. It isn’t like we sit down and have deep conversations or anything, we are just part of each other’s lives, we know our idiosyncrasies and accept each other despite them, we can even tease each other about them. I really miss them, did I mention that?

Then there is family. I wasn’t the easiest kid to raise, I took teenage angst to a whole new level. I had some stuff I was working out and didn’t open up to anyone so it came out it in anger, avoidance by way of heavy pot use and other self destructive tendencies. For a long time my parents, who are both brilliant people that I should have listened to, trusted enough to open up to and am damn lucky they never gave up on me, couldn’t say anything right. Fortunately I did have close relationships with their siblings and parents and for some reason I was able to listen or take guidance from them. I can look to each of my uncles, aunts and grandparents and attribute a life lesson or part of who I have become to them. Now I feel so disconnected from them, like I am an outsider in my own family. As much as we try to stay in touch and get together when Bones and I get back to Ottawa every year, it isn’t the same. My cousins are adults now, it is so freaky, I think of most of them as children, but they are all adults now.

Every time I head back to Ottawa I visit my Grandma & Grandpa Darch, and every time I leave after the visit I cry, partially because I think this may be the last time I see them, partially because I just miss them so much. My Grandma has Alzheimer’s and each time I leave I think how much of my Grandma will be left for the next visit, if I am lucky enough to have a next visit.

One of my uncles has AIDS, again I never know if this visit will be the last time I see him. He is just a neat individual, there is truly no one like him anywhere. There is a lot of strength in him but also a vulnerability. He lives his life so unapologetically himself, he is a rather flamboyant queer on heavy duty drugs, lets just say that he can sometimes be a little graphic about his lifestyle or his illness at times. But at the same time you can’t help but see his struggle to simple exist each day. Even before the AIDS took hold he struggled, then it was for acceptance for who he is. When I need to find some inner strength it is him that I think of.

My mother also lost her last parent. I wasn’t there. I distanced myself as I felt awful about not being there. She told me some of the stories of trying to settle his estate and such after the fact and all I could think of was that I wasn’t there. I don’t expect that she would have opened up to me as she believes in not giving your children your own emotional baggage so to speak. I could have taken her out for brunch, gone over to watch movies, walked the dogs together, I could have just been there.

During this time I dealt with infertility and finally a successful pregnancy *knock on wood*. Sure there has been crying, bitching, squeals of excitement and joy on the phone, but in the end it isn’t the same as going out for beers with friends after a failed cycle to just be around people who care about you, or shopping for baby stuff with my mom, my father won’t have seen my baby belly at all.

I guess it is the old not appreciating what you have until it is gone situation.

There is nothing I can do about the past, I am not crying over spilt milk about it. It is just something I am thinking about a lot these days, mostly because I have a child coming and it is making me re-evaluate…well everything.


Friday, May 11, 2007

2 down 1 to go

So now I am well into the third trimester, unbelievable. What is great about this moment in the pregnancy is that there is no way I can forget that in around 12 weeks I am having a baby!

I am full on into nesting mode, the only energy I seem to have is to organize and get these quilts completed, (still working on the quilt log). Sometimes it seems like there is still so much time left, other times it feels like July 31st is right around the corner.

There have been other changes, can’t stand at the Big Ass Machine as long as I could before, my feet often hurt but my brother & sister in-law came to my rescue with a massaging foot bath for Christmas, thanks guys, LOVE IT! No back, hip or joint pain – yet. Have crazy anxious dreams, my dogs jumping off our balcony, being in a prisoner of war camp where I risk life and limb to let Bones know I want to name our son Maynard, (that is my grandfather’s name and I have no desire to name our son that in real life), and then there are the dreams of giving birth to a stillborn child. My headaches are now continual, they vary from mild to really frickin’ painful, but the idea of narcotics doesn’t appeal to me, plus they can make the dreams worse.

My prenatal appointments have gone from every 4 weeks to every 2.

And finally my baby girl, she has some strange habits. Every morning she does her callisthenics to get the day started. It lasts for about an hour, she is in constant motion, and although it isn’t painful, it leaves me rather tender for about 20-30 minutes when she is done and a bit nauseous as well. After that she is relatively calm for the rest of the day, moves occasionally, usually after I eat there are some spurts of activity. Between dinner and bed she is also quite active, just not with the same intensity of her morning callisthenics.

So far pregnancy has been full of ups and downs, mostly ups. There are definite annoyances but feeling her move, even when she is beating me up from the inside out, and listening to her heart beat, which was 155 this morning, brings a smile to my face and dissolves any negative thought.


Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Housekeeping - Quilt Log Issues

Well I tried to split the quilt log into what is compled and what still has to be done. It was a great idea, I thought but blogger is giving me issues in trying to get it all together without 50 billion extra carriage returns in the code. It is driving my nuts!

I will get it sorted out in the next few days, have to get working with Big-Ass Machine now before the Quilt Foreman whips my butt. She is driving me nuts!