So what is worst than bathing suit shopping, pregnant bathing suit shopping. I had to run out at lunch today to grab a maternity bathing suit. Basically it was an exercise in humility, or should I say being humiliated.
There was this assumption on my part that once I got pregnant it would be easier to find clothing. Not sure where it came from but it was there. Boy was I smoking crack!
Back to the dressing room, not only is there little to choose from, nothing could properly contain my bordering on obscene mammaries. Bones likes to remind me that women pay good money to be this well-endowed, I think they are called strippers and porn-stars and honestly don’t feel like being compared. But again I digress. Nothing could hold the suckers up, so I had to get a size larger, in a not-so-cute looking suit.
Now you must be asking what the urgency of requiring a suit so badly that I would only dedicate a lunch hour to the pursuit, well this is when the story takes a bit of an up turn…..
I AM COACHING SPECIAL OLYMPICS SWIMMING!!!!!!! ....tonight....
Yes I am excited. So excited that I can look past my humiliation of a saggy suit with breasts-a-bursting, (I think I will wear a t-shirt, it really is getting obscene).
Darch
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